Your mobile phone rings. Who answers it?

The home phone is dying. That’s not the same thing as the landline dying. Business still have as many landlines as ever. Homes do not. In 2004 almost 100% of homes in the US had landlines. By 2014 that figure was down to just over 50%.

With the loss of the home landline we have lost something else. When the home phone rang anyone could answer.

The phone rang. It was your aunt wanting to speak to your mother. But you answered the phone so you got to speak to her for a bit. Then you passed the phone to your mother.

The phone rang. It was your mother-in-law calling for your wife. You answered so you got to say hello. Then you passed the phone to your wife.

With the house phone when it rang and you answered you got to speak to people unexpectedly. Now…

Your mobile phone rings. Who answers it?

You do. You answer your phone. Your phone is normally close to you. In your pocket. On the desk beside you. If someone else has your phone when it rings they’ll hand it back to you. They won’t answer it. You can call them back if you can’t answer just then.

They won’t answer it because answering someone else’s mobile phone is a breach of an invisible barrier. Privacy has something to do with it. But it is more that a person’s mobile phone is part of their personal space. There’s an invisible barrier of space around a person and we instinctively know not to break it. And yes, sometimes a person will answer your mobile and breach that invisible barrier just as sometimes a person will breach your personal space. In both cases it’s uncomfortable.

So we lose those conversations. Conversations that help us to better know the people close to those close to ourselves.

We don’t have to allow those conversations to be lost. We can do something about it. We can create tools.

Tools such as software that would link phone numbers. So that for particular callers the phones of two or more designated mobiles would ring at the same time. Or tools to allow call sharing so that when someone calls that the recipient can decide to add others in the household to the call. This way others can join the conversation.

Sometimes we lose things with technological development. If we care enough about those things we can build them back in.