I’ve started reading ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k’ by Sarah Knight. It’s the type of book that helps remind you about things you already know (or at least should). The type of book that’s helpful to read from time-to-time to prompt you to think about the things in your life.

In this case the book has spurred me into thinking about this blog. Am I giving enough of a f**k about it or too much? Does it rob me of time I should be spending on other things or are other things robbing me of time I should be spending improving what I post here? What is important to me is improving my writing skill. Not that I post here. Posting here is simply a motivation for the act of writing.

It’s coming toward the New Year and it’s always a good time to reflect. Think about the f**ks you give, and those you shouldn’t.

Ideas are tricky things. They have minds of their own. Having an idea does not mean it will do as you wish. It’s as likely to f*ck your sh*t right up.

Sometimes you might have an idea and in the process of working through it, the little bugger dashes off in an unexpected direction. Then there are the times it splits in to multiple competing ideas.

It’s happened to me a few times. I had an idea for a post but when I sat down to write it the piece went in an entirely different direction. This is confusing. Or at least it is for me. I end up wondering about the original direction, if it was any good and if I should pursue it.

By following the new path the original direction was abandoned. Does that mean the original direction had lesser value? Does it mean that the new direction is simply a better way to express the core of the idea. Without exploring the original direction further I’m yet unsure if both directions are different expressions of the core idea or if there is something truly new to be expressed.

The original direction may have put up too many barriers to be explored. The new direction may have just bypassed the barriers and allowed me to write. Writing is thinking after all. If the idea in my mind can’t be expressed then it isn’t ready.

Perhaps some of these ideas will be revisited in time. When they are ready and when I can express them more readily.

Charity is different for everyone. For me I like to give money once a year. My logic is that if I give a larger amount to one group my donation will have a bigger impact.

Of course it’s more complicated than that. People fund raise for things during the year and I end up donating when someone I know is involved with something. It feels rude not to. And if I don’t I feel guilty.

I want to donate where my donation will do the most good. But it’s not easy to figure that out.

Should I donate to help people in need in my own country? Or would I do more good by donating to help people in less developed countries?

Should my donation go towards a longer term project, such as finding cures for sickness and disease? Or should I put my donation to work helping people affected by disasters, a shorter term issue?

I haven’t got an answer. But it’s always better to help someone rather than do nothing and help nobody.

You need to experiment.

To try things with the expectation of failure.

To iterate on that failure looking for better results.

Just trying something isn’t good enough. You have to follow through. It has to be examined.

Only with understanding can success be sustained.

Spotify and Goodreads have both emailed me in the past few days to tell me about my year in music and books respectively. While I appreciate these things the year is not over. Same issue as with the best of lists that started popping up at the end of November. My music listening doesn’t stop and I hope to read another book or three before December 31st.

Our interests define us. They make us who we are. Having a wide range of interests is a good thing but everybody needs at least one that borders on obsession. At least one thing that we find so interesting that we want to everything about it.

That thing could be anything from coding to writing to mountaineering to deep sea exploration. A subject that we want to explore as deeply as we can. To find the hidden recesses of it. To know it intimately. To be a nerd about. A paper nerd. A book nerd. A notebook nerd. A book cover nerd. A typography nerd. A print nerd. An ink nerd. It doesn’t matter what it is.

The first time we come across it we rarely see it as something we will become part of our identity. But we chase it down the rabbit hole.

This is not a follow the white rabbit moment. The white rabbit is just the first experience we have with the object of our obsession. Once we chase it down the rabbit hole we find that there’s more than just one rabbit. There are dozens. Hundreds. Thousands. We explore tunnel after tunnel finding more and more. The tunnels criss-cross each other, connecting in unexpected places.

Go – fall down a rabbit hole. Be a nerd.

Disruption happens. Everything changes so everything is disrupted.

In and of itself disruption is not a bad thing. It can make life harder, yes, but it can also make life easier. A disruption could be good for one person but bad for another.

Disruption is a function of time. The longer the timescale the larger the chance of disruption. In general as we put in the work we also battle the forces of disruption, or attempt to ally with those same forces. Succeeding or failing.

We do this as the work does does not sit in a vacuum. It doesn’t. It exists in the world.

A break provides the space for disruption to have a larger impact.

Maybe it’s just a weekend off. Maybe it’s a fortnight in the sun or a month robbed by illness. Perhaps the work stopped not because of a break of absence but because there was a higher priority, a project that took precedence.

During any break the work mutates. It grows. It reshapes. It responds to the world. It gains or loses meaning. Its importance grows or shrinks away.

The length of the break determines the power of its disruption. But it is not the only force at play. Being in the world it is impacted by outside forces.

While you were gone the layers above you may have killed your project. The rules may have changed. The landscape too. A rival company may have launched something that makes your project irrelevant.

Even working alone, on a solo project, the work is not immune to outside interference. Your may have reevaluated some aspects of the work. Your experiences may change the parameters.

Disruptions are large and small but they are best not ignored.

When returning it is important to take the time to determine the extent of the disruption. Starting straight back into the work without doing so is a recipe for wasted time. Even if you find the work need not change, checking in allows you to align or realign to the track of the work.

Take a break, you need it, but expect disruption.